POST 18: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY SCAN TO BE STABLE

As much as I am looking forward to Christmas with my family, new family and fiancé, at the moment, my thoughts are mainly focussed on the looming appointment I have in the New Year, and the results this appointment will, soon after, bring with it.

If I take you back to my post radiotherapy scan that I had in July, the results were, to begin with at least, heartbreaking. Despite 7 gruelling weeks of treatment, Trev had appeared to have grown; grown significantly. A more detailed perfusion scan however, revealed to the radiographers that it was actually just swelling caused by the treatment, and the initial worry was indeed unnecessary; which I suppose, should have been a relief. Yet, personally, I don’t think the latter news ever really sank in for me. I was always kind of waiting for the next scan for complete reassurance; this scan is on January 4th…..waiting for the result is going to be a bugger for sure!

But if you are out there Santa, I have been a very good girl this year and I have tried my hardest to handle this tumour rubbish as best as I can. I hope you have also seen that I have raised a lot money for BTRC and I continue to tirelessly raise awareness of this awful disease that has taken and continues to take the lives of so many.

Please, Santa, all I want for Christmas is my scan to be stable.

Dear santa blog

 

Most importantly of all, I would like to wish every single one of you who has supported me this year, read a post on my blog, donated some money to BTRC…

A VERY Merry Christmas!

And for those families who are dealing with celebrating Christmas without a loved one who has sadly lost their fight against brain cancer; for those people, like me, who are unsure if this may be their last Christmas; you are all in my thoughts – stay strong my brain tumour buddies.

 

Lots of love and Christmas kisses from the Swabey-Bells!

Swabey- Bells

 

POST 17: I SAID YES!!!

I want to take you all back to the beginning of this year when I was dealt the devastating blow that has led to me writing this blog – Trev the tw*t! I also want to give you further insight into my private life, so here we go…

This year could not have begun any worse. At 23 years of age, with supposedly my whole life in front of me, I was told I am dying. As I began to (excuse the pun) get my head around everything, I have a vivid recollection of a specific conversation I had with my Mum that led to me having tears streaming down my face. It all of a sudden hit me that I would never fall in love; I would never get married and have my own family. And to put it bluntly, in that moment my heart broke.

My thinking was, even if I did ever get the chance to meet someone, what was going to be the scenario? … “Hi, I’m Anna and I have a terminal brain tumour, nice to meet you!” …ummm, I couldn’t quite see that working! I didn’t have the best of flirting skills before, and didn’t think this would add to my talents!

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Twelve months later, however, where do I find myself? I am sat on my sofa surrounded by “Congratulations On your Engagement” banners, balloons, flowers, and cards. How the bloomin’ hell did this happen you may ask?! (I sure am!)

decorations

decorations2

 

ENTER ANDREW.

(For those of you who are easily nauseous, be warned, soppy stuff approaching…)

Where do I begin with this guy? I reckon perfection is pretty darn close! When the darkest days of my life were bearing down on me, Andrew came and brought the brightest sunshine. He knew from day one that I was Anna and Andy rugbybattling a terminal illness, and yet did not let this, in any way, shape or form cloud any of our time together. It’s so cliché to say I knew from day one, but, personally I knew he was more than special. I most definitely do not know where I would be mentally, in terms of dealing with this illness without him. I’m sure I would be battling on through with all of my family support. But with this massive smile on my face? I am not so sure! The most beautiful thing for me, is that Andy sees me, just for me, not ‘Anna with a brain tumour’. He is obviously there for me to talk to about Trev and all the emotions and physical pain Trev brings with him, and vice versa whenever either of us need, and he has accompanied me to as many hospital visits as possible.

To sum him up, he is my best friend and love of my life and our relationship is SO FUN! Considering all that has been going on, I don’tBall ready think, out of all my 24 years, that I have laughed so much. Regardless of this illness, I am positive, that one way or another, we would have found each other; this would have been too good to have missed. And in Andy’s (maybe slightly corny) words, when we do have to consider Trev, he would rather have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. What I do have to remind myself is that three years is only an average diagnosis and I am my own person, different to all other brain tumour patients who have sadly passed before me; this could mean I live for many, many years longer than this average figure – and as I regularly say, game on Trev! I cannot halt living my life, and my oh my, how I’m blessed to be living the rest of my life, however long it may be, with Andy right by my side!

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On Saturday December 5th 2015, Andy got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. OF COURSE I SAID YES!!!!!! I am still buzzing with excitement and I have permanent butterflies. He has made me the happiest woman alive! And I am delighted to share the happiest moment of my life with you all –

 

Other than showing off my ring, the real reason I wanted to share this special moment with you all is to help others who may have been given a similar diagnosis and have experienced some of my previous fears and might feel as though this means you have to stop living ‘normally’. I am aware I am fortunate that, to date, I have no severe or consistent side effects; however I know that Andy will be by my side if ever that were the case. There are, evidently, truly incredible people out there; Andy topping that list (not that I am biased!! 😛 ). We all deserve happiness and we need to embrace it, despite illness.

ROLL ON THE WEDDING!!!! 😀

Much like our house warming…you are all invited! 😛